Feminism Revisited: A Personal Journey

The Feminist Movement heydays were long over before I even knew I needed to stand up for my own rights. I grew up in an urban environment, single mother, poverty-ridden home.

Those who grow up in such situations are never thinking about fighting oppressive government policies, they are more concerned with just getting by from day to day. Will the electric be turned off today? Can we eat something more than mayonnaise sandwiches? Will my overworked, high-pressured, abusive mother snap again today? The last thing on my mind was fighting for my rights as a woman.

On top of everything else, there was school to keep my city survival skills sharp and church to make me feel small and insignificant – as if I didn’t have enough to accomplish that task already. One of the many things I learned in church was to be mad at the feminists. I didn’t know why, I just knew that I should. I knew they were out of control male wanna-bes.

Needing More

I married at a young age to a wonderful guy and started having children 18 months later. My focus was then on toddler chasing and house cleaning. I still didn’t know I should be concerned with my rights. In fact, at this point in the late 80s feminism was an intimidating topic for me. I just knew that I needed more than to stay at home with the kids. I was in dire need of some intellectual stimulation, but instead I tried to play the role of what the church declared to be a good wife and mother.

This is a dangerous situation for a family. My husband was working during the day and going to college at night. So I would care for the children all day - every day of the week. On the weekend, I would go to church to have them tell me how I should be happy since this was God’s design for woman.

I tried to be happy and to some extent I was happy. I had beautiful children whom I adored and a good husband. Beyond that, I was bored and feeling like a slave. It wasn’t that my husband didn’t love me, we just both fell into the traditional roles of the conservative Midwest, which worked for him – but it didn’t work for me. After years of this, I decided I couldn’t handle it anymore. I honestly didn’t know what I needed; I just knew I needed more than what I had.

I started rejecting the church’s notions on women and realizing I couldn’t possibly fit in the suffocating mold they had created for all women. It was time for me to take control of my own life. After years of discontentment, I decided I needed to go to school. This would change my life forever.

Finding Myself

I loved learning about astronomy, geology and reading classical writers. I loved writing long essay papers because in my mind they turned into works of art. Each letter was a stroke of a paintbrush and I would work for hours on one paragraph just to make sure it portrayed the message I intended. When it was finished, I would beam with pride over the art I had created. I had finally found what was missing in my life. I was a writer.

I learned a lot more at school too. I realized that not only could I disagree with the church, a step I had already taken, but I could also disagree with the government and even the president. Not only was it my right, but it was also my responsibility to voice dissent when I felt the need. I saw so much injustice for the poor when I was young and for women when I got older that I just couldn’t help but voice my dissent.

By the time I had matured to the point of realizing I needed to fight for my rights, I was well into my thirties. It seemed so late for me to start this process that most feminists had started in their late teens and early twenties during their college years. But I had a gift for writing and a passion for activism, so I decided against being intimidated any longer.

Now I spend my time studying and writing about the many grievances I have with the unbalanced social equilibrium of the sexes. When a person’s physical equilibrium is off, it is difficult to stand up straight or walk a straight line. In fact, they often get sick to their stomach. This is the same type of symptoms we see in our country, and even our world, because of the unbalanced social equilibrium between men and women.

Down With The Patriarchal System!

The Feminist movement is not the same as it was in the 70s. However, there are remnants of women who have not lost their vision of equality. These women understand how fragile our newly attained rights are, especially in a country led by a conservative government that still places archaic expectations on women. They know how important it is to speak for women like me when I was younger and had no voice.

It is time to find a cure for the injustices forced upon women. I want to see a healthy world that is balanced and fair. This is not a battle of the sexes; it is finally allowing the natural balance of power to run its course in every aspect of human interaction. It’s time for equal distribution in the scales of power – in the home, at the workplace and in the government.

I don’t see this balance being handed over easily to women though. This is something we have to take for our own by resisting the traditional feminine roles and stereotypes handed down from a patriarchal society. By rejecting these unjust expectations while embracing our rights as equal beings to the opposite sex, we can make huge strides.

There may be times when we have fight for those rights. If we have to call on the spirit of our Amazon ancestors, then so be it. I would rather be called arrogant and intimidating than to be the slave of this system any longer. The fight will make us stronger and ensure equity of power for our daughters and their daughters. The time of the patriarchal rule is over. Let justice rule in its place.

The Woman's Place In the World

Where is my place? I grew up in the Midwest, so that very familiar phrase rushes back to me like a crashing wave – “the woman’s place is in the home.” It washes over me and leaves me feeling small and ashamed that I was born a female. I can still see the many faces I’ve heard say it, even my own family. I can also still feel the gut-wrenching anger that would well up in my stomach each time I heard this stifling phrase.

Even as a young girl I wondered why so little was expected from me in life while the future of all the little boys around me was looked upon with great expectation. It made me mad. I just couldn’t resign my life to such a mundane existence.

How many other little girls have heard this phrase and felt angst from its implication? How many have succumbed to the resignation I fought so hard to evade? The degradation of being slighted in life and the victimization that comes from stolen opportunity are the types of feelings I dealt with growing up in a fundamental evangelical church in the Midwest. It was a part of my everyday life. We were told this way of thinking was suppose to be normal, but it never felt normal to me. It always felt wrong.

I often think about the millions of other women who were slighted throughout history. Can you imagine how much more advanced the world would be today if women had always been given the same opportunities as men to advance the areas of medicine, philosophy, architecture and politics? After all, two heads are better than one. And two sexes are definitely better than one. How sad that one half of the world’s potential has been hidden away for most of recorded history.

Barefoot and Pregnant

The old adage mandating a good wife to be “barefoot and pregnant” is even more humiliating. It reduces women to nothing more than a tool used for producing a son to carry on the family name or for working in the field.

However, I can see why men felt so strongly about keeping their women restricted to the home. First, the man obviously wanted cheap labor, someone to clean the house, do the laundry, raise the kids (since he was never around to help), cook the meals, and a sundry of other household chores that would otherwise be his responsibility.

The only expectation placed on him was to put a roof over the woman’s head and food in her stomach and she would do the rest – even satisfy his sexual needs. He was not required to satisfy her though. Since she was his property, he could treat her anyway he wanted.

Can you imagine what the world would be like if women were as sexually satisfied as the men? Think about the clear-headed confidence that follows a man around all day after he has had sex. Oh, that there will one day be as many women walking around with that same clear-headed confidence that comes from sexual satisfaction!

Secondly, by keeping the little lady busy at home “barefoot and pregnant,” the natural result was her continued ignorance about the real world. This insured a timid approach to travel, education, politics and working outside the home. If the woman had shoes, that meant she had the first tool necessary for walking outside the doors of her home. If she got far enough without the aid of her husband, she might actually realize her potential and not want to stay at home everyday while he pursues his own endeavors. God forbid that he’d be expected to share the workload of the house.

Can you believe this type of thought is still practiced in some stricter religious circles? Even today in the 21st century! However, most of the insidious accusations of feminine inferiority have all but faded.

Real Change is Slow in Coming

It is now a generally accepted concept that a woman can hold her own ground in the big bad world. So much positive change has come about in a very short time. Most women are no longer afraid to leave their homes and even hold down jobs of their own. They are retail managers, grocery associates, restaurant workers, and waitresses. They are also lawyers, doctors, professors and business executives. In fact, many women work as many hours outside the home as their male counterparts.

Not all has changed though. Many women in the workplace still come home and do most, if not all, of the household chores. They are still the ones cooking the dinner, cleaning the kitchen, tending to the kids, washing the laundry, sweeping and mopping the floors, cleaning the bathrooms, etc. Regardless of the time she spent at work that day, be it four hours or ten hours, she still returns to the cheap labor expectations of the home.

The acceptance of true equality is slow in coming, even from the most enlightened of men – and women. When a man expects a woman to do all or even most of the housework, it is a result of a learned behavior that has not been adjusted to the new standards by which women are now measured. The fact that the woman allows this type of behavior to continue without expecting change shows a lack of enlightenment as well.

In the end, true equality will be recognized by the equal distribution of rights and freedoms, as well as roles and expectations. The assumption that women are equal simply because they can vote and work is based on the shallow idea that we should be happy since our situation is considerably better than it was a century ago. If “better” was the goal, then yes, we should be happy. However, equality was the goal and that goal remains the same today.

The Sweet Ripening of the Woman

As this spring brings buds and blossoms galore, it’s clear that those trees, plants, and flowers want to burst onto the stage with all their beautiful glory. It is also quite evident that a new and exciting social change is springing forth for women as well.

Issues of gender equality come in so many forms; professional, relational, spiritual, intellectual, and yes, even sexual. Traditional Western thought demands that women scorn their sexuality, one of the most vital and enjoyable parts of life.

If you asked a woman in 1905, just one hundred years ago, if she was as sexually satisfied as her partner, there would have no doubt been a variety of possible responses. If she was taught that such talk was not “ladylike,” she may have shied from an answer or stormed off in a pious huff. However, if you could coax an honest reply, it would have probably entailed the required deference to the needs of her husband.

However, there is a new season springing to life in America. With women now in powerful positions in the media, new programs and commercials have a distinctively feminine flare – the kind that can only be attributed to a strong woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it.

One example of this phenomenon is a recent McDonald’s commercial with a woman who says that when she is eating her McGriddle and drinking some McDonald’s coffee, she feels anything is possible and dreams of hiring a pool boy – though she has no pool. How wonderfully scandalous! This commercial brilliantly hits home with every woman because yes, we think about those types of things too.

I consider this commercial pioneering material. To have a man say such things is traditionally acceptable, after all men do enjoy sex. But to have a woman say such things breaks all social decorum, yet opens the doors of flagrant sexuality on one of the last places to accept the woman in her real beauty – commercial marketing.

Commercial marketing has always portrayed the woman as either a sex object for men or a Betty Crocker type, prompting several generations of women to constantly reach for unachievable perfection projected by one delusional image or the other. This medium has been slow to recognize the woman for her true self. I applaud McDonald’s for this bold move. In my opinion, this single commercial has shattered the 50s prototype and the sex object image into tiny fragments. My hope is this commercial will set the precedence for future marketing.

One more very popular example of the changes taking place in the media concerning women is the new hit show Desperate Housewives. This show is about reality. When I watch this show I think to myself, “This is how real women are.” Sure, it goes to extremes at times, as any television drama does. But it also portrays women who are strong and intelligent.

One of the latest episodes for Desperate Housewives has a scene where Terri Hatcher’s character wants to give certain man another chance but decides she can’t bring herself to trust him enough to work things out. I didn’t expect that ending at all. I was shocked that she didn’t go running back to those strong male arms, as is oft the ending in most romantic dramas in America. But no, she was strong, she was brave and she was intelligent. She was not needy, insecure or “desperate.” It made me proud to be a woman.

Like this television character, women no longer wait to be told how they should feel or what they should want. They are finally free to find out for themselves. For these women, fulfillment comes in a variety of ways - be it through sexual, intellectual, religious, political, or social pursuits. Today’s woman has many dimensions and I applaud the media for finally catching up to those of us who have embraced our many sides to find completion through exploring all that life has to offer.

It is high time the media targeted the women who are comfortable in our own skins. Maybe this change is because they finally realize we are too intelligent to buy into the absurd notion that we need to be recreated into some 18-year-old anorexic to be beautiful. More likely, women are the ones calling the shots behind that camera. Either way, a new season has definitely started and it promises the sweet ripening of the woman.

Women as Catholic Priests: The Time for Change is Now

In ancient Rome, the cradle of democracy, women had no rights. Their place was in the home under the custody and control of the master of the house, which would often be the husband or father. Her job was to take care of the house and family. She had no vote, could not govern, nor even conduct her own affairs without the oversight of a man. These are actions viewed as crude and uncivilized by today’s standards.

However, even during these primitive times of democracy women were still allowed to be priestesses in Rome. The Vestal Virgins were honored and revered by men and women alike for their years of sacrifice and service to the Goddess Vesta. So how is it that over two thousand years later, the Catholic Church still refuses to ordain women for service in the Church as priests?

Admittedly, it has been only very recently that most of humanity has decided to allow women the privilege of being acknowledge as an equal with men. In fact, it is only within the last century that American women have been allowed to vote or hold a political position. However, during this time women’s rights have made significant advances. Women now work outside the house, hold political office – even at a national level, have ready access to equal education, and yes, they even conduct religious services in many religions.

Even Jewish congregations have women serving as rabbis. In fact, a woman was recently selected to replace the retiring male rabbi of a conservative congregation with over 500 families. This is a first for Conservative Judaism, which ordained its first female rabbi in 1985.

I have the utmost respect for Scripture and its importance in society, so I do recognize the passage from the Apostle Paul requiring women to be silent in churches and saying it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in church. Paul instructs the women to wait till they get home to ask their husbands any questions they may have about the service. (1 Corinthians 14:33-35)

Having acknowledged the importance of Scripture, my reverence for the Bible, and my knowledge of Paul’s teaching; I now admit that I vehemently disagree with the sexism of this passage.

I think it is important to recognize the culture from which Paul is speaking. In fact, Paul was a Roman citizen. He was raised in the type of backward culture we have already acknowledged as crude and uncivilized by today’s standards and his remarks on this subject are no doubt a result of his cultural upbringing.

The Church has always accommodated change as humanity has grown and matured. Even Pope John Paul II, who passed this week, met with the leaders of countries who were far from Christian. He met with Islamic leaders, Jewish leaders, and even rock stars like Bono from U2. These are all people the Church would have condemned or even burned at the stake for their heretical beliefs or ungodly actions during The Middle Ages.

Likewise, it is time for the Catholic Church to mature to the level of accepting that women are equally viable as a candidate for priesthood as men. The times of believing women are on a lesser plane - whether intellectually, socially, or spiritually – are long over and the Vatican would do well to acknowledge this fact.

The Church’s churlish remarks on women serving in the role of a priest are dated and a clear demonstration of the need for a more progressive Pope that will be more responsive to the changing times and to the disenfranchised women of the Catholic Church, whose ministerial participation has dropped significantly over the last few decades.

I pray the soul of Pope John Paul II finds peace and comfort in the Kingdom of Heaven. He deserves so much for his sacrifice and service to the Church and to God,

I also pray the next Pope will override John Paul II’s remarks on women in the priesthood and allow the Church step into the 21st century. If this happens, perhaps one day we will have a female Pope. Now that would be something to praise God about.